Five Facts
by Derp-For-Homestuck
Summary: John learns things about Karkat and writes them down, and this is how they went! Just...told from a third person point of view. Whatever, it's great. Rated Teen because Karkat still can't control his language very well. JohnKat.


Fact number 1: Did you know, everyday at the end of math, he throws his pencil out the second story window when the teacher isn't looking.

...

John wakes up in the morning with an aching pain in the back of his neck. He wipes the drool from the side of his cheek and stares at his math homework sullenly.

He still hadn't finished it.

So, gathering his things for the day, he sulks down the stairs. Only to come face to face with cake.

"Jane, I have to get to school!" He shouts at his older sister, to which he gets a giggle as his response.

Rolling his eyes, he shoves past her and out the door.

...

"John, what the hell are you doing?" Rose deadpans. John slowly lifts his head from his desk, only to bring it sharply back down.

"Nothing Rose, nothing." he mutters into the desk. She rolls her eyes and stares at the board.

Kanaya is next to ask what the dickens is wrong when she walks in the door.

"Wow, I've never seen him this distraught." she comments to Rose. The blonde shrugs and waits for the bell.

...

"Karkat, what are you doing?" John whispers. He stares at the shorter ravennette. Karkat's arm is cocked back with a pencil ready for throwing in his left hand.

"What? Nothing. Don't fucking worry about it Egderp." Karkat mumbles back. The pencil flies out the window and all but shatters on the concrete below.

John stares out the window until the bell rings, wondering why in the hell Karkat does that.

"Do you do that everyday?" he asks in the hallway.

"It's kind of a tradition." was his only answer.

* * *

><p>Fact number 2: Did you know, he hates it when John ditches him for Dave.<p>

The two boys sit in Karkat's living room, watching some stupid movie John picked out for movie night when John's phone rings. Karkat instantly knows he's about to get ditched when he hears Dave's preset ringtone.

This fact does nothing to help with his already bad mood.

"What's up? Oh shit, no way! Man I'll be right there! Oh my gosh!" John freaks out a bit, slamming his stupid flip phone shut and jumping up. "Dude, Karkat, I gotta go man. Dave got some new turntables!" John shouts over his shoulder as he rushes out the door.

Karkat stares dumbly at the door long after John has left, blinking back tears and willing his jealously away.

"Fucking damn it." his voice cracks under the pressure of his emotions.

He doesn't even notice when the tears start rolling down his face. He wipes them away with the sleeve of his shirt and turns back to the movie that has since been over for almost an hour.

John calls him in the middle of the night with the details of Dave's new turntables. Karkat growls something akin to an insult and hangs up.

He doesn't even answer the other 4 times John calls and spends the rest of the night curled in a ball watching romcoms.

* * *

><p>Fact number 3: Did you know, he has a weird addiction to chocolate, and John knows.<p>

Today is Valentines Day, and Karkat couldn't be pissier. He wasn't even this upset when Gamzee and Terezi started dating. Not even when Dave pulled a stupid prank on Karkat and accidentally outed him to the whole school. He did say he was sorry afterward though.

...

"Happy Vvalentines Day, Sol." the hipster mumbles, turning away from the nerd with a flushed face. The blonde with the 3D glasses lets out a squeak.

"What the fuck ED?! Ith thith thome kind of prank? Did FF put you up to thith?" he nearly shouts, looking around for the offending female.

"Shut up and kiss me you jackass."

Karkat rolls his eyes as he passes the scene. It was obvious they were going to end up together. Feferi and Aradia had been trying to get them dating for the past year and a half, so it was no surprise when the nerd jumped at those words and smashed their lips together.

Gross. Emotions.

Something Karkat refused to show any of. Sometimes he was so good at NOT showing emotions, people thought he was spending too much time with Dave.

...

"Why so sad, best friend?" Gamzee asks, tugging at Karkat's sleeve. The shorter teen growls and mumbles something under his breath.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

...

"Hey Karkat! Happy Valentines Day!" John shouts happily as he shoves a lollipop into Karkat's face.

The shorter boy growls and pushes the candy away from his flushing face.

"Fuck off John."

John frowns when Karkat turns from him, but shrugs when the shorter boy walks away.

Karkat comes up to his locker and stares stupefied at the pink and red giant heart taped to the front. He shakes his head and assumes it from someone else and opens his locker door, only to be toppled with a bunch of chocolate boxes in heart shapes. A single note flutters to the floor and Karkat blinks twice before picking it up.

He looks from the boxes to the note and gives a shrug. Might as well read it, right? After all, what if it really is meant for him?

_Beep beep meow Karkat! _

_Happy Valentines Day!_

_Love you!_

The scream he lets out can be heard throughout the school.

"JOHN!"

* * *

><p>Fact number 4: Did you know, John loves to talk to Karkat.<p>

If the jittery attitude wasn't the first clue, Dave didn't know what was.

"Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?" he finally asked. John jumped in his seat and Dave snickered at his flushed face.

"W-what? Nothing!" John squeaked. Dave laughed and shrugged. The jumpy teen next to him stole a glance at his phone and let out a sigh.

"You sure it's nothing?"

"Karkat hasn't texted me back yet."

"Excuse me?"

"I told Karkat I decided I was gay and he hasn't answered me." the hurried tone in his voice sets Dave on edge and he takes out his phone. He types out a quick text and get his reply in less then 10 seconds after sending it.

Of course, it was no surprise, she was always on her phone.

"Meenah says the Karcrab is waiting on your curb. Go to him Romeo." Dave chuckles.

John is out the door before Dave even finishes and is running down the steps.

...

"Kar...kat?" John takes several moments to collect his breath once he reaches his house. The shorter teen stands and makes his way over to John.

"You. Are SO fucking. Stupid. John Egbert." he grumbles.

John is about to question why when his mouth becomes busy with Karkat's. The shorter boy stands on the tips of his toes to reach and wraps his arms around John's neck.

Shocked back to reality when Karkat runs his tongue along his tip, John pulls the Cancer closer to him and pushes his tongue out to greet the others.

* * *

><p>Fact number 5: Did you know, Dave secretly loved their wedding.<p>

...

It wasn't planned. It wasn't a big thing. It was just a quick and easy thing in Vegas.

But it was perfect. So absolutly perfect, and Dave had so much fun.

It was the night of Gamzee and Terezi's wedding, and they were all going out for drinks. During some point, Sollux and Dave dragged John and Karkat away from the party.

They all ended up shit-faced drunk and were laughing and talking in the back of Dave's truck when Sollux asked a stupid question.

"Hey...KK, when ar you an *hic* John gettin married?" he slurs, pointing his bottle towards the couple. Karkat glances at his boyfriend and shrugs.

"It's up to him, I guess." he mumbles. Dave sits straight up quickly and points at a chaple across the street.

"How about now?" he asks with a stupid grin on his face. Both boys flush and stare at each other before similtaniously answering with a yes.

...

"What about you and Sollux?" Karkat whispers to Dave, staring at the gold band on his ring finger. Dave stares at the blonde nerd across the table and shrugs.

"I'll ask him out some other time."

"HEY SOLLUX, DAVE WANTS TO ASK YOU SOMETHING." Karkat shouts loudly to the nerd sitting only a few feet away, followed by Dave frantically shooshing him and whisper/yelling 'shut the hell up stupid'.

"What'th up Dave?"

"Oh, uh...was just wondering if you'd like...I don't know...date me?"

"Smooth Strider, smooth."

"John, shut the hell up."

"Hey, don't talk to my husband like that."

"Karkat, shut the hell up."

"Dave, come on, stop being such a downer."

"Thure."

"What?"

"I thaid thure. I'd love to go on a date with you. Go on a date, kith you, make out with you, whatever workth for me. Just ath long ath it'th with you." he states as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Dave all but leaps across the table and collides with the nerd that still wears 3D glasses. Sollux instantly pulls him even closer, one hand on his hip and the other sliding up his shirt.

John rolls his eyes and spends the rest of the night with his new husband.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you know, I suck at writing so much oh my gog. <strong>

**So this is like, a bunch of different things that don't really have anything to do with each other. I was given five facts about different people from the persons that had crushes on them. **

**Interpret them as you will, I just wrote what came to mind and posted it. **

**Let me know what you think and if I should try something different or something. **


End file.
